With so many marriages ending up in divorce, it's all too easy to give up on your partnership, especially when the problem is too much stress. Stress turns normally docile and polite people into near maniacs, and that kind of pressure can tear a couple apart. If the outside world has permeated your once-happy marriage, leading you to believe everything is falling apart, stop what you're doing and turn your attention to the relationship, before it's too late.
Find Ways To Ease The Pressure In The Household
No matter how much people love each other and want to be together, if there's constant and unbearable pressure, there's no getting along. Even if you can only lift the pressure a few days a week, such as by cutting back work hours, dining out more, or hiring a temporary house cleaning service, do something to clear the tension in the air and relieve each other of that non-stop stress. Give yourselves a break and the opportunity to have a peaceful conversation, without the pressure bearing down on you.
Dedicate Yourselves To Marriage Counseling
A mediator can sometimes help a couple caught in a vicious cycle of arguing, but they can also guide a couple out of a dark time that they'd otherwise have given up during. Especially if you and/or your spouse feel hopeless about the marriage, talk to a marriage counselor. There are different types of therapy that could help and the counselor can work with you both on managing the stress in your lives. Once you get to the fundamental problem(s) gnawing away at your marriage, you can feel like a couple again, eventually returning to the point of appreciating each other.
Focus On Letting Go Of The Past
Especially when you're under stress or arguing, the past likely rears its ugly head all too often, turning minor arguments into major events when one of you brings up an event from a time gone by. Whether something happened years ago or just last week, unresolved issues form a permanent wedge between couples and until they're resolved, you're probably never going to get along. That's also something a counselor can help you work out, but somehow, you have to let go of the past, forgive, forget, and stop hurling painful reminders of it at each other.
Consider A Marital Retreat
Marriage retreats can do a world of good, if you let them. Some retreats are Christian-based, helping you make a place for God and His guidance in your relationship, while other retreats are not focused on any religion or other specification. Either way, a retreat can help a couple under stress, by taking the stress away so you can see each other in a new light or in the old one that you fell in love under. Look for retreats and counselors who really speak to you as a couple and the problems you're facing, like:
- Infidelity, jealousy, and insecurity.
- Parenting clashes.
- Financial hardships and the pressure they put on a couple.
- Dealing with life changes, like retirement, menopause, and the empty nest syndrome.
- Learning how to constructively argue, rather than tearing each other down.
- Coping with a past that's still haunting you as a couple.
Put The Marriage First In Your Lives
No matter what route you choose to try saving the marriage, you both have to put all your energy into it and make it your top priority. Work, friends, money, and everything else in your lives has to take a back seat to the relationship you're trying to save.
Marriages come apart for different reasons, but most relationships can't stand the pressure of maximum stress. Stress is like a fuse and once lit, can destroy anything in its path. Put the brakes on your busy schedules and make each other the priority, to hopefully save the marriage you've both put so much into. Rely on friends and family, your church, and a marriage counselor, and don't forget to rely on your spouse, like you once did. That mutual reliance is what makes you feel like you can face anything in the world and it's what will hold you together.Share