If your relationship is on the rocks, one thing that you can do is go to couples counseling. This is something that you can do whether or not you are married. You may be fully committed to one another, but you are just not married. Or you may be married and have been for many years. Regardless, if you are going to spend the money on couples counseling, you want to do what you can to help ensure that the counseling is a success.
1. Focus More on Yourself Than Your Partner
While it is true that you are probably going to couples counseling because you have a "problem" with your partner, it is important that you focus on yourself during the course of counseling. This is the best way to have a positive impact on your relationship. If you focus solely on what changes your partner needs to make, then you won't end up happy. Think about what it is that you want and need out of your relationship. What is keeping you from being the better person in your relationship? Think about when you are stressed out and tired – do you whine, withdraw, or try to control too much? These are some things to think about and potentially focus on during therapy.
2. Dig Deep for Your Feelings and Emotions
It is important that you dig deep and feel throughout this process. If you don't, counseling is going to take a lot longer than necessary. In some cases, it may not even get you anywhere. Most of the time, on the surface, you feel annoyed, angry and resented. However, deep down, you have other feelings. Maybe you feel hopeless, embarrassed, or helpless. You need to dig deep and find out how you are feeling and figure out why. Maybe you have been hurt in the past and are afraid to open yourself up completely to your significant other because you are afraid of getting hurt again. Therapy creates a safe space for you to dig deep and share your feelings with your therapist and your partner.
3. Don't Think About Divorce or Ending Your Relationship
You and/or your partner may be going to couples counseling as a last resort before filing for divorce or ending their relationship. This is actually common. However, it is important that divorce/ending the relationship is at the back of both of your minds. Whether or not couples counseling works for you is still up for debate, but the fact remains that you both need to committed to the process for it to potentially work. You both need to remain hopeful for the time being and put the time and effort into saving your relationship.
Contact a company like The Center for Family Counseling, Inc. for more information and assistance.Share