When someone thinks of anger management, it's often common to think of big and loud moments full of raging episodes, screaming, and possible physical harm. While this is a true sign of an anger issue, there are also more subtle anger issues that should be treated. A subtle anger issue may not be as obvious on the surface. By being able to recognize that you have this type of anger issue, you can have it professionally treated before the problem becomes worse and does harm to either yourself or loved ones. The following four types of subtle anger issues are important to be aware of. If you have any of them, you can seek anger management counseling before it worsens and causes additional problems in your life.

Passive-Aggressive Anger

Instead of directly expressing your anger to family and loved ones, you may be indirectly showcasing it through passive-aggressive anger tactics. This type of anger is just underneath the surface and features actions or ideas that showcase anger in different ways. For example, instead of having a direct argument with someone, you may express your anger through spreading rumors, sabotaging them in some way, or performing behaviors that are deemed accidental. An accidental action could be something like spilling a drink on someone you have tension with and claiming that it wasn't done purposefully even though it was.

Through counseling sessions, passive-aggressive anger can be treated by learning to cope and confront any feelings of anger with healthy conversations and open communication. Proper communication tactics are often the key to successfully healing through this type of anger and the feelings associated with it.

Repressed Anger

One of the most subtle forms of anger is repressed anger. Holding in your anger can quickly build up and result in many problems in the long run. Even though you may appear generally happy on the outside, repressed anger can lead to more serious problems like depression. Instead of quelling all of your mad feelings, a counselor can help you manage those feelings and learn how to properly express them. The feelings of repressed anger do not result in an instant fix. A counselor can work with you to determine the direct source of this anger and where it stems from. If this is not explored, then the anger can remain and continue to build up over time.

Retaliatory Anger

When dealing with family members and loved ones, one of the more subtle angers to come across is retaliatory anger. It really hurts to get hurt from a family member or loved one, especially when high emotions are involved. Instead of expressing this anger directly, it may come into a form of retaliation. This can include both physical and emotional reactions like random insults, acting cold towards a person, or not expressing any physical intimacy by denying hugs and kisses. To help get through these issues, a counselor can help you determine the root cause of this problem, ways to heal from it, and sessions may even include family members that are directly involved. This direct involvement can help you hash things out in a safe setting where proper techniques are used to help end the bad anger habits.

Digital Anger Issues

The world of cell phones and internet has dramatically changed the way people express anger. Instead of getting angry in a physical sense, many people express their anger through digital platforms like social media. If this is the case, then you may have a form of judgemental anger. This type of anger stems from self-loathing and trying to make yourself feel like a better person. When writing online, you may comment on threads, insult others, or even post anonymously. Through counseling, you can learn the core of this behavior, better actions to take online, and the consequences of expressing this anger on a digital format.

Along with recognizing these types of angers in yourself, it's important to recognize them in trusted family and friends. This way, you can help them seek anger management help and remove the negative aspects of their life. If you or a family member express any type of anger that is debilitating, contact a counseling center, such as Evergreen Recovery Centers, to find help.